Kara's Birth StoryThe birth of Ayla Elizabeth was an experience of self-discovery, powerful bonding with my husband David as well as the caregivers who supported us every step of the way, joyful release, and ultimate elation...in short the greatest thing I've ever done. I think one of the first things I said to David after Ayla was put on my chest was, "I want to do that again!" This despite the process including the most physically challenging moments of my life. In the end, the "pain" of labor truly is inconsequential...Other mothers had told me that before, and I never understood how it could be until I went through it personally.
While I was pregnant someone told me that when it comes to labor, you have to trust that you will know your body's limits and will make the right decision for yourself and your baby at each moment in the birth process. These turned out to be sage words indeed. Another piece of advice, which came from my yoga classmates, also turned out to be key to my positive experience. The advice was simply to have an open-mind about the process; having a rigid birth plan could surely lead to disappointment when not everything goes exactly as you thought, and when DOES anything go exactly as we think it will?
I had imagined beginning labor at home, staying active during the early contractions in my own clothes, familiar surroundings, with just David by my side. Instead, I started leaking amniotic fluid at 8am Friday morning, four days before my due date. In the birth class sponsored by my doctor's clinic, we were told that water leaking or breaking was one of the symptoms that might warrant an immediate admittance to the hospital and possible induction in order to prevent infection. I know there are different schools of thought on this one, but I had done some research and had also been happy with my doctor's care and decisions every step of the way so was comfortable with following her guidance on this point as well.
The first thing I did after I started leaking though was take a shower (being home from work I hadn't washed my hair in 4 days and realized I might not get another chance for awhile...how vain is that!?). Then I called David to ask him to head home, and finally called Dr. Stull when her office opened at 9am. Not surprisingly she sent me directly to St. Vincent's and told me to be prepared to not leave without a baby.
After checking in at 10:15am, we were sent to an evaluation room where a nurse confirmed my water had broken and called in Dr. Stull. When she arrived we discussed options and decided to wait until around 2pm to see if I would go into labor on my own and if not, begin a pitocin drip. I had been hooked up to heartbeat and contraction monitors when I came in, but at my request the nurse agreed to simply check to make sure everything was ok once an hour and the rest of the time David and I were free to walk around the maternity ward, and around and around we went. At 2:30pm a birth suite finally opened up (they had been 100% full for several days); to our delight it had a beautiful, peaceful view of the West Hills and our neighborhood; before I knew it we had moved in and I started on pitocin. I also called for a consultation with the anesthesiologist and shared with her that I wasn't ruling an epidural in or out but wanted to be prepped for it, just in case.
Then, for two hours I felt nothing; I was connected to the monitors full-time now and could see my contractions were becoming regular but there was not the slightest sensation. Then, in an instant at 4:30, the feeling went from nothing to comparable to fairly strong menstrual cramps. I was surprised by how quickly the intensity set in, but was also surprised by how manageable it was. Between contractions I felt fantastic -- not a twinge of pain. That release between each one was enough to rally strength for the next episode. What also helped tremendously was my yoga breathing (I sent my breath to the source of each contraction), David's hands firmly massaging my neck and lower back, and not being on my back! My favorite positions were sitting on the edge of a glider chair with my legs spread (squatting with support) as well as bending over from a standing position and resting my arms and head on the edge of the bed.
At 5:30pm there was a shift change and I said goodbye to the daytime nurse Amanda, who had been wonderful, and met Valerie who would be with me through the rest of my labor. Both women were amazing -- I had not indicated a strong preference for an unmedicated birth but somehow they could both tell I wanted to refrain from medication as long as possible and they encouraged me towards that end. At 6:30pm I was checked and was at 6cm. That was kind of a shock because I had heard so many stories of women laboring intensely only to discover they hadn't made much progress; I was also of the mindset this would be 12-18 hour experience. I still felt strong enough to put off an epidural but knew my window was closing and was somewhat apprehensive of the pain still to come. At 7:30 I was at 8cm and the contractions immediately after this check were mind-blowing; what finally pushed me over the edge was the complete lack of a rest between contractions. At this point they were on top of each other and the urge to push was overwhelming--I think I emptied my bladder of every last bit of fluid! It got to the point where I could not concentrate on anything but the intensity and finally requested the epidural. I wanted to be mentally present during the pushing and with this level of intensity I knew I wouldn't be.
Receiving the epidural was perhaps the most difficult point of the labor because I had to sit still during my contractions while she was putting it in, and the process seemed to take forever! Twenty minutes before the anesthesiologist arrived, 10 minutes to administer, 5 minutes or so to take effect. By the time she finished the process I was fully dilated and immediately began pushing. Because I received the epidural so late in the game, the dose had to be quite light and my legs never went numb -- I was still able to feel and push hard with every contraction, but the edge of the pain was gone.
Because everything had progressed so quickly to this point, at first my nurse Valerie didn't even think I would push for more than 15 minutes and she called in a back-up doctor to stand-in while we waited for the attending OB/GYN, Dr. Hoffman, who was still 20 minutes away. Probably because of the epidural though, as well as the fact that Ayla turned out to be pretty big for me, I pushed for 75 minutes. Pushing was the best part of the whole experience. It felt like such a team effort with a wonderful doctor who was firm but kind and very personable, a nurse who was nurturing and calm but also no nonsense, and David who sat right next to Dr. Hoffman and was able to watch the whole thing while the doctor explained each point in the process. David held one leg while Valerie held the other. In between contractions we all chatted amiably about everything from the Red Sox to where we grew up in New England. I also watched with the benefit of a mirror, which I would highly, highly recommend to anyone. To see her little head making its way slowly out was such motivation.
I did receive a level 2 episiotomy after about an hour in order to avoid tearing; it was painless because of the epidural and the healing has been a no-brainer. Dr. Hoffman was a bit worried that after Ayla's head emerged her shoulders might be a tight squeeze, but as soon as her head came out the rest of her slipped out in a flash. She started crying immediately and so did David and I; David cut the cord and then I had her on my chest in an instant. I wanted to hold her forever, do it all over, get started on the next one right away. Words will always be inadequate to describe the joy, sense of accomplishment, and immediate love that strikes you when you see your child at the moment of birth. I've sometimes wondered why as a species we haven't evolved past the "pain" of childbirth but now I understand that the laboring aspect of birth is fundamentally important to the bonding you experience with your newborn babe; it's an initiation to a new world of wonder.
While I was pregnant someone told me that when it comes to labor, you have to trust that you will know your body's limits and will make the right decision for yourself and your baby at each moment in the birth process. These turned out to be sage words indeed. Another piece of advice, which came from my yoga classmates, also turned out to be key to my positive experience. The advice was simply to have an open-mind about the process; having a rigid birth plan could surely lead to disappointment when not everything goes exactly as you thought, and when DOES anything go exactly as we think it will?
I had imagined beginning labor at home, staying active during the early contractions in my own clothes, familiar surroundings, with just David by my side. Instead, I started leaking amniotic fluid at 8am Friday morning, four days before my due date. In the birth class sponsored by my doctor's clinic, we were told that water leaking or breaking was one of the symptoms that might warrant an immediate admittance to the hospital and possible induction in order to prevent infection. I know there are different schools of thought on this one, but I had done some research and had also been happy with my doctor's care and decisions every step of the way so was comfortable with following her guidance on this point as well.The first thing I did after I started leaking though was take a shower (being home from work I hadn't washed my hair in 4 days and realized I might not get another chance for awhile...how vain is that!?). Then I called David to ask him to head home, and finally called Dr. Stull when her office opened at 9am. Not surprisingly she sent me directly to St. Vincent's and told me to be prepared to not leave without a baby.
After checking in at 10:15am, we were sent to an evaluation room where a nurse confirmed my water had broken and called in Dr. Stull. When she arrived we discussed options and decided to wait until around 2pm to see if I would go into labor on my own and if not, begin a pitocin drip. I had been hooked up to heartbeat and contraction monitors when I came in, but at my request the nurse agreed to simply check to make sure everything was ok once an hour and the rest of the time David and I were free to walk around the maternity ward, and around and around we went. At 2:30pm a birth suite finally opened up (they had been 100% full for several days); to our delight it had a beautiful, peaceful view of the West Hills and our neighborhood; before I knew it we had moved in and I started on pitocin. I also called for a consultation with the anesthesiologist and shared with her that I wasn't ruling an epidural in or out but wanted to be prepped for it, just in case.Then, for two hours I felt nothing; I was connected to the monitors full-time now and could see my contractions were becoming regular but there was not the slightest sensation. Then, in an instant at 4:30, the feeling went from nothing to comparable to fairly strong menstrual cramps. I was surprised by how quickly the intensity set in, but was also surprised by how manageable it was. Between contractions I felt fantastic -- not a twinge of pain. That release between each one was enough to rally strength for the next episode. What also helped tremendously was my yoga breathing (I sent my breath to the source of each contraction), David's hands firmly massaging my neck and lower back, and not being on my back! My favorite positions were sitting on the edge of a glider chair with my legs spread (squatting with support) as well as bending over from a standing position and resting my arms and head on the edge of the bed.
At 5:30pm there was a shift change and I said goodbye to the daytime nurse Amanda, who had been wonderful, and met Valerie who would be with me through the rest of my labor. Both women were amazing -- I had not indicated a strong preference for an unmedicated birth but somehow they could both tell I wanted to refrain from medication as long as possible and they encouraged me towards that end. At 6:30pm I was checked and was at 6cm. That was kind of a shock because I had heard so many stories of women laboring intensely only to discover they hadn't made much progress; I was also of the mindset this would be 12-18 hour experience. I still felt strong enough to put off an epidural but knew my window was closing and was somewhat apprehensive of the pain still to come. At 7:30 I was at 8cm and the contractions immediately after this check were mind-blowing; what finally pushed me over the edge was the complete lack of a rest between contractions. At this point they were on top of each other and the urge to push was overwhelming--I think I emptied my bladder of every last bit of fluid! It got to the point where I could not concentrate on anything but the intensity and finally requested the epidural. I wanted to be mentally present during the pushing and with this level of intensity I knew I wouldn't be. Receiving the epidural was perhaps the most difficult point of the labor because I had to sit still during my contractions while she was putting it in, and the process seemed to take forever! Twenty minutes before the anesthesiologist arrived, 10 minutes to administer, 5 minutes or so to take effect. By the time she finished the process I was fully dilated and immediately began pushing. Because I received the epidural so late in the game, the dose had to be quite light and my legs never went numb -- I was still able to feel and push hard with every contraction, but the edge of the pain was gone.
Because everything had progressed so quickly to this point, at first my nurse Valerie didn't even think I would push for more than 15 minutes and she called in a back-up doctor to stand-in while we waited for the attending OB/GYN, Dr. Hoffman, who was still 20 minutes away. Probably because of the epidural though, as well as the fact that Ayla turned out to be pretty big for me, I pushed for 75 minutes. Pushing was the best part of the whole experience. It felt like such a team effort with a wonderful doctor who was firm but kind and very personable, a nurse who was nurturing and calm but also no nonsense, and David who sat right next to Dr. Hoffman and was able to watch the whole thing while the doctor explained each point in the process. David held one leg while Valerie held the other. In between contractions we all chatted amiably about everything from the Red Sox to where we grew up in New England. I also watched with the benefit of a mirror, which I would highly, highly recommend to anyone. To see her little head making its way slowly out was such motivation.
I did receive a level 2 episiotomy after about an hour in order to avoid tearing; it was painless because of the epidural and the healing has been a no-brainer. Dr. Hoffman was a bit worried that after Ayla's head emerged her shoulders might be a tight squeeze, but as soon as her head came out the rest of her slipped out in a flash. She started crying immediately and so did David and I; David cut the cord and then I had her on my chest in an instant. I wanted to hold her forever, do it all over, get started on the next one right away. Words will always be inadequate to describe the joy, sense of accomplishment, and immediate love that strikes you when you see your child at the moment of birth. I've sometimes wondered why as a species we haven't evolved past the "pain" of childbirth but now I understand that the laboring aspect of birth is fundamentally important to the bonding you experience with your newborn babe; it's an initiation to a new world of wonder.
Ayla at around 18 mo old....